It’s mentioned in the Bible!

This is the Ark of the Covenant.

It is stored in a secure, climate-controlled warehouse in California, and very occasionally brought out for public display. It has a historical provenance dating back to… 1981. But there is evidence that it is actually much, much older. The Book of Exodus, which describes events from c. 1400BC, describes an Ark of very similar description: same length and width, same colour, same rings with poles through them, same angels with outstretched wings. Of course the one above has been attested to by the craftsmen who made it, and the material of which it is made looks to be of more modern construction than other millennia-old artefacts, and no doubt if it were radiocarbon dated it would come out modern, but who’s counting? It’s obviously ancient, and we have absolute proof of that because it’s in a text! There are countless texts centuries before the 1980s mentioning the Ark of the Covenant. Only a fool can deny that!

A mild remark by a podcaster called Mezzo, to the effect that the Shroud showed up in History in the 1300s, was instantly repudiated by an excited authenticist. “No, it didn’t. […] That’s just a Shroud-skeptical question-begging logical fallacy. I could easily say the Shroud showed up in 30AD. And we have absolute proof of that because it’s in a text! Back in the Book of Galatians 3:1 it’s mentioned, and there are countless texts centuries before the 1350s mentioning the Shroud. […] Only a fool can deny that.”

Good grief!